he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
