i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Last night you broke a mirror, and then rolled around in the glass shards. Miraculously, there's not a scratch on you...
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize