I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
