I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
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