She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
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