shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize