is wine microwaveable?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
