a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
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