on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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