Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Randomize
