cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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