My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
