When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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