You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
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