So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
