Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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