I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Pants are for mortals
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
