I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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