Rock
Scissors
Fuck
yo - did your mom get a boob job (I think she did)
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
whose ass print is on the piano?
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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