They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Randomize
