The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
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