whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Randomize
