How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
