I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
