if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize