We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize