Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize