the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Ok roommate is officially weird. Just watched her microwave the same broccoli 3 times in a row and cry b/c she fucked it up. Wtf lol
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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