I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Randomize