Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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