I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
