Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
