Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I've been sober for almost two weeks and it's been the worst two weeks ever. Even my mom told me I need to start drinking again.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
