I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
