happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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