u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Randomize
