moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
ill drive you to the airport today if we can have sex first
i left yesterday
ill pick you up from the airport on sunday if we can have sex after
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
