To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We are two peas in an std pod
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize