i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
