god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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