does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
Randomize
