This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
Randomize
