If I was doing exactly what I wanted right now I would be getting fucked on a jet ski while listening to "When Love Takes Over" by Kelly Rowland while eating french fries.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
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