All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Randomize
