David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Randomize
