Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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