Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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