we have pet lesbian snakes
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
