I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
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