dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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