So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
