I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
