haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize