So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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